Neurodiversity is a loaded word, but nowhere near as loaded as as the words that came before it. While the old model regarded traits outside "the norm" as deficits, the inclusive neurodiversity model reframes differences as part of a broad spectrum of brain function and behaviour.

This model meant that by the time I received my autism diagnosis from a clinical psychologist, the run-up to self-acceptance involved already perceiving my business as (in a manner of speaking) "normal".

According to the DSM-5, I'm a "Level 1" autistic, meaning I may require support but not heaps of it all the time. Had I been assessed before 2013, my diagnosis would have been "Asperger's Syndrome".

Early diagnosis can be crucial to giving young autistics early access to support and assistance. However, I can't deny that my late-dx afforded me privileges I wouldn't have otherwise had if someone had picked it up when I was a kid. The ableism in the culture I was raised in (however well-intentioned) would have deprived me of many opportunities and self-determination.

Finding out in my late 30s was a different kind of exhausting, but I'd built a full and independent life by then, so it's not so bad. Maybe the most inconvenient part is figuring out how to undo the damaging parts of camouflaging after more than three decades of habit.

Whether I am autistic or have autism makes no difference to me. Others may disagree, which is entirely valid for their self-identity. But in the context of my life experience and internal lexicon, I see it the same as "being myself" and "possessing myself", and both sound like things I want. I also like auti because it's short and clear and phonetically pleasant.

I no longer use aspie because the historical associations make me sad. Something else that makes me sad is when people conflate autism with harming others, for example jerks using autism as an excuse for not remedying harmful behaviour or the media pushing false narratives and misinformation. It undermines every autistic genuinely trying to do the right thing in a world not designed for them.

Sometimes, I fancy that if you're going to call it "Autism Spectrum Disorder", it would also be helpful to refer to neurotypical people as having "Allism Spectrum Disorder", because (let's be real here) allistic people can be quite peculiar as well.

Things that make me happy about knowing I'm neurodivergent:

• Experiences that didn't add up before now make sense.
• Having more confidence that things I wanted were good for me.
• Understanding why so much advice from others didn't suit me.
• Being able to differentiate between meltdowns and non-meltdowns.
• No longer feeling pressure to live up to certain "normal" standards.
• No longer feeling flaky about the ebb and flow of my special interests.
• No longer feeling flaky about the ebb and flow of my relationships.
• Being able to communicate this to others so they know where I'm coming from.