Hello flying ferret 🐾

I have a sort-of secret to tell you.

For the past five years, I've been moonlighting as a fiction author. What started as a bit of a joke led to my first book published in 2017, kicking off a cascade of writing, publishing and a gradual lane-change into the career I have now.

I call this a "sort-of" secret because, yes, I've told people over the years, and it's always been on the downlow. To be honest, the main reason for not being open about it was my family. I worried that if I made a big "coming out" announcement, people might ask questions my parents would then have to answer. And how awkward would that be if those people were the judgemental kind?

For a long time, I wasn't even ready to talk to my parents about it. I wasn't ready to answer their questions, because I didn't have the answers to my own questions about writing — the why, the how, the five-year plan. Most people don't know this about me, but I'm like a dog when it comes to my projects. I pick up a scent and follow my nose until I arrive somewhere. The process is highly irrational, hard to explain, and often looks like chaos on wheels.

Out of all the secrets I've ever had to keep, this was by far the hardest. Stuff like sexuality and the decision not to have children were easy, really. Mum said something in passing once that made me realise she and my dad didn't actually care which way I swung or how many fruits would fall from my tree, as long as I was happy and didn't do stupid shit that hurt myself or other people. So there was never any pressure to fancy any particular gender over another or produce X number of grandkids.

But this secret author life felt HUGE because it defines how I use my time, the way I participate in the world, the response my output elicits from people (who may then ask questions), and most importantly, my livelihood and all the values about work and independence they'd brought me up with. And then, of course, the big question: how would they react to me writing erotica?

In the end, I decided to bite the bullet and just tell my mum. And she was SO SUPPORTIVE. She squealed and got excited... aaaaand then we made tea and proceeded to talk about other things. It was fun news but also no big deal, and thus a huge weight off my shoulders.

After that, I felt more confident talking to people about what I really do, as well as embracing what it means to work and live the author life. Hence my finally feeling comfortable writing about this to you.

Since 2017, I've released 15 titles under a couple of pen names, and ghostwritten and edited a few non-fiction books currently in circulation. Last year, I gave up fixed-hours on-site employment so I could improve my productivity, focus and quality of work. Earlier this year, I registered a business to bring some semblance of order to all this chaos. And I have two novels on the way — one due to launch in September 2023, and another in 2024.

Not everyone I've told has been supportive. If I can be blunt, some people have said rather weird things in response. From talking to other writers — and, heck, other people who've kept secrets — this isn't unheard of, especially for women-presenting people who create erotic content. I'm lucky this has been a minority in my experience.

Knowing I have people behind me — people I could trust with my "secret", who support and encourage and want the best for me — make me feel strong and capable and free to be creative.

Now, I'm asking you: Think back to a time when you revealed a secret you'd been keeping. How did the person react? And how did their reaction influence the way you moved forward? How do you think it's shaped your life today?

Hit reply and tell me.

Sandy.
sanlive.com

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"The old web, the cool web, the weird web, the hand-organized web… died." Source: How blogs broke the web

A Commonplace Book is a collection of notes, quotes, insights, and other bits of information that you want to save for future reference. Here's how to start one.

Indulge your appetite for retro gaming literature with these old scans from Electronic Gaming Monthly. (Thanks, Chris, for this treasure!)

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Finally, here's what I'm up to now.